Pickup Line 20

Strange to admit, but she’d never made an appointment with a professor. The campus was small: one of those places that prided itself on its professors spending as much time teaching as researching. She’d gotten to know plenty of her professors–they’re not above sitting near you in the dining hall and striking up a conversation, giving you unsolicited feedback if they saw you working on their class at the coffee shop, or hosting dinner for a seminar, but she had been organized, hard-working, and ahead of the curve (thanks to that girls’ school education Mom insisted upon!), so she never felt the need to make an appointment, lobby for a higher grade, or ask more than a quick question about details.

She wasn’t even sure what the right protocol was. Email? Phone call. Probably not text. She didn’t think Pervy-Pear had listed a cell number on his syllabus. Maybe just drop by his office? Even if he wouldn’t see her right away, she might be able to nail down the best time by getting to his calendar first. As old as he was (and as old as his choices of reading material seemed to be), she doubted he was much of an e-mailer. Or that he would pay much attention to a voice mail.

The English Department was housed in one of several historic buildings between the main classroom building and her dorm. Despite its many generations of renovations, it still felt old–there was a sort of quiet draftiness that kept it from being perfectly comfortable. There was a plaque on the wall commemorating a visit made by Abraham Lincoln. Not the biggest deal, either. Maybe Lincoln had stopped for a shoeshine. No time to check right now.

She had to admit–she loved the squeak of the old stairs. College should sound–among other things–like old buildings as they settle, squeak, and re-settle.

She half-sprinted to his third floor office. The door was closed. Guess he had decided to head home to enjoy that Pinot.

“Well,” she heard his voice behind her, “That was fast. A bit worried about holiday break, my dear?”

Perv, Priest, Psychic. she thought. Just great.


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